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On Progress and Procrastination

November 20, 2009

I’m very good at thinking of initial concepts for things, but I often have a difficult time following through on a lot of those things.  I often make excuses for myself and willing lag, when I know that I can get things done.

Part of the reason for this, actually most of the reason for this is because I’m afraid of failure and I’m afraid that the things I would like to do will not be received well by others.

This is something I’m going to have to get over and soon.  I do not want to be one of those guys walking around at 30, 35, regretting shit.  I’ve met those guys.  They aren’t a lot of fun to be around.

Part of the trouble, I think, comes from me being envious of what I see other people, my peers and people my age having been able to do in the time that they’ve had.  So as a result, I say to myself, “well, I need to be there.  I could do that!  Why didn’t I do that?  Ok, do that!  That’s what we’ll do.”  Then, when I don’t get to where I think I should be after having used my peers’ accomplishments as a comparison, I’m of course disappointed.

Gotta run my own race.  I just need to be more realistic about the goals that I set for myself and focus on what I have rather than what I haven’t.  Kanye said that, man.  He was like, “you can’t get anywhere if you keep thinking that you can’t do something because you keep harping on what you don’t have.”  Look at where he is.  He didn’t start with shit.

That’s the move.

I, myself am a work in progress.  The sooner I think that I think I get that through my head, the better off I’ll be.

I’ve just got to try.

But will I?

How badly do I want to succeed?

(I guess I’ll see.)

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