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2 Wks To Go – Grindin’, Jack

August 31, 2009

2 Weeks before production generally seems to be the temporal benchmark by which one can tell whether they’re going to shoot or not.  I, however, am going, Sept. 11th-13th and I am scared as hell, not because things are going wrong, but because everything is going right.  Things are really coming together in a seamless fashion.  My producer is about his business.

Now it’s all on me.  All this damn talking I’ve been doing and now I have to execute.

It’s been two years since I’ve tried to direct anything dramatic and I’m scared as hell.  The equipment is more expensive, I have a bigger crew under me, my actors are a lot more experienced and very talented and everyone who I let read the script says that they think it could have the potential to be something really dope should it be executed properly.  So I’ve got to execute it properly.

To tell you the truth, it’s less like I’m actually scared and more so just…it’s that level of trepidation that I think athletes have before they run a race – (i rowed so i guess it’s a regatta)…but right before that pistol resounds I feel like on some level you’re thinking to yourself, “I have all the tools I need, I’ve been training for this shit, the only thing that’s going to fuck this up is me.”  And on some level, you’re scared because of what you’re going to have to do to yourself to cross that finish line.  It seems you’ve been training forever, but in that short time in which the race actually takes place, you’ve got to bring all of your everything to the forefront–guts, focus, wit, heart–bring it all to the surface and push, because it’ll be over sooner than you know.

If you don’t cheat yourself and give it everything you can in those few moments, even if you falter, you’ll have nothing to be sorry for.  You’ll learn from your mistakes.  There’ll always be other races.

So what can I do?  Refreshing myself as we speak.  Homeboy Dan Eckman from “DerrickComedy” said he watched “Raging Bull” about 8 times before directing “Mystery Team.”  Me, I’m on Se7en, No Country, Training Day, Collateral, and a few other movies back to back to back to back until my head bleeds so I can finish cranking out this shot list.  Then after that, I’m leaving it alone.

Making a shitload of calls, as I’ve been doing.

Work out rehearsal schedule.

Grind during the week, then live life and enjoy my birthday, Labor Day weekend, BBQ’s, etc.

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